表达拒绝时说什么？“不”的十二种表达方式……

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孔/院/微/课/堂

CI CLASSROOM

不、不行、下次、算了……“拒绝”是表达对他人的请求、建议、邀约等不接受、不采纳的言语行为，而恰当地表达拒绝在维护良好交际关系中起着重要作用。如何在不同场合、面对不同群体得体地表达拒绝？让我们一起来学习一下吧～

Refusal includes words and acts for expressing the inability or unwillingness to entertain the request, follow the advice, or accept the invitation of a party. An apt expression plays an important role in maintaining favorable interpersonal relationships. But how should we choose the appropriate one that is suited to the occasion and our counterpart? Let’s take a look together.

bù/búyào/bùxíng/bùkěyǐ

不/不要/不行/不可以/……

No / No way / Not a chance…

“不”类拒绝语是中文日常对话中最常用，也是最直接的拒绝语之一。单用时语气强硬，常用于熟人之间。加上语气词可使语气软化。

This group of expressions, which includes the Chinese character “不(no)”, most commonly adopted to denote refusal in daily conversation in Chinese. Curt and on the verge of being impolite, they are often used by people familiar with one another. Sometimes, a filler word is added to soften the tone.

例 | Eg.

① 

A：妈，我想养只狗。

B：不行！你已经有一只猫了。

A: Mom, I want to have a puppy for pet.

B: No way! You already have a cat.

②

A：兄弟，我最近手头有点紧，借我1000块钱救救急呗。

B：不行啊，我这兜比我脸都干净。

A: Hey, bro. I’m strapped recently. Could you lend me 1,000 yuan to tide me over? 

B: I’m afraid I can’t. I’m virtually and veritably penniless.

bàoqiàn/duìbuqǐ/bùhǎoyìsi

抱歉/对不起/不好意思，……

Sorry / I’m sorry, but / I wish I could…

以“道歉+说明原因/提供建议”的方式间接表达拒绝，语气委婉。

This is a group of tactful expressions combining apology with reason or advice to show refusal. They are soft in tone.

例 | Eg.

① 抱歉，我明天有事去不了。

Sorry, but I can’t go there tomorrow because of another engagement.

② 对不起，我已经有女朋友了。

I’m sorry, but I already have a girlfriend.

③ 不好意思，这会儿我特别忙，要不你问问其他人？

Sorry, I’m terribly busy now. Perhaps you can ask someone else.

dànshì/kěshì/kěxī/

zhēnbùqiǎo

但是/可是/可惜/

真不巧…… 

But / However / Regrettably / Unluckily…

表示情感上愿意，但是客观不允许，因此无奈拒绝，语气委婉。

Denoting a subjectively willingness to accept but objective deterrence from doing so, the expressions in this group carry a polite overtone.

例 | Eg.

①

A：小伟，今晚和我们一起去玩剧本杀呗？

B：我也很想去，但是今晚我得留在宿舍复习。

A: Xiaowei, how about some Live Action Role Playing games this evening?

B: I’d love to, but I have to stay in my dorm and review my lessons.

②

A：兄弟，借我1000块钱呗。

B：我也很想借给你，可惜我刚交了房租，现在是真没钱。

A: Hey man, could you lend me 1,000 yuan?

B: Look, I’d like to help, but unfortunately, I just paid my rent and now I’m penniless.

bùyídìng/kěnéng/yǒudiǎnr

不一定/可能/有点儿…… 

 Maybe / Possibly / Kind of…

表示事情存在不确定性或令人为难，表达暂时拒绝，语气委婉。

Those expressions are used to indicate temporary refusal with a soft tone, by pointing out uncertainties and embarrassment.

例 | Eg.

①

A：王总，下个月有时间一起吃个饭吗？

B：下个月我要出国，不一定有时间。

A: Mr. Wang, could you join me for dinner sometime next month?

B: Maybe some other time, I’m going abroad next month.

②

A：赵老师，我下个礼拜可以请个假回去探亲吗？

B：可能不行，下礼拜咱们班要考试。

A: Mr. Zhao, can I take some time off next week to see my parents?

B: Probably not since we’ll have a test next week.

suànle/déle

算了/得了

 Come on / Never mind

直接表达拒绝，可单独使用，也可以重叠使用。这类词语一般含有嫌弃、抱怨、责怪的语气，需谨慎使用。

Indicating direct refusal, those expressions can be used alone or in repetition. Use with care, since they often carry aversive, complaining or scolding connotations. 

例 | Eg.

①

A：妈妈，我来帮你刷碗。

B：得了吧。你又闯什么祸啦？

A: Mom, let me help you wash the dishes.

B: Come on. What have you got into this time?

②

A：小丽，机票买好了吗？

B：呀！我给忘了，我现在就买。

A：算了算了，还是我来吧。

A: Xiaoli, have you booked the airplane ticket?

B: Oops, I forgot. I’m booking it this minute.

A: Never mind. I’ll book it myself.

gǎitiān/xiàcì/zàishuō

改天/下次/再说

Another day / Next time / We’ll see

通过拖延回应的方式委婉地表达拒绝。通常用于拒绝他人的邀请。

By proposing an alternative, those expressions are used for roundabout refusal, usually to invitations.

例 | Eg.

①

A：晓彤，今晚我们一起去看电影吧。

B：今天我很累了，改天吧。

A: Xiaotong, let’s watch a movie together this evening.

B: I’m really worn out today. Maybe some other time.

②

A：小王，好久不见！走，去前面咖啡厅坐坐。

B：李姐，我现在得去趟图书馆。下次一定。

A: Xiaowang, long time no see. Let’s catch up with each other in the café.

B: Ms. Li, I’ve to go to the library now. How about another time?

búshìwǒbù

不是我不……

It’s not that I don’t…

通过双重否定的方式委婉地表达拒绝。表示情感上愿意，但是客观不允许。

Double negation can be used to politely express refusal, indicating subjective willingness but objective unavailability.

例 | Eg.

A：你是在看《红楼梦》吗？你看完能借给我看看吗？

B：哎，不是我不想借给你，这本书我也是从李莉那儿借来的，要不你问问她？

A: Are you reading Dream of the Red Mansion? Could you lend it to me after you finish it?

B: Oh, it’s not that I don’t want to lend it to you, it’s just that I borrowed it from Li Li. Perhaps you could ask her about it.

píngshénme/wèishénme

凭什么/为什么……

Why / How come…

以反问的形式表达拒绝，一般用于拒绝不合理的要求，语气非常强硬，需慎用。

A rhetorical question is often used to refuse unreasonable requests. The expressions are blunt and should be used with care.

例 | Eg.

①

A：小陈，这周末你得来公司加班。

B：凭什么又是我？我都加了一个月的班了！

A: Xiaochen, you have to work this weekend.

B: What? Me again? I have worked overtime for an entire month.

②

A：这事儿小刘安排吧。

B：我为什么要负责安排？我又不是领导。

A: Xiaoliu, the specific arrangement will be left to you.

B: Why me? I’m not in charge here.

shùnáncóngmìng/wúnéngwéilì/hǎoyìxīnlǐng

恕难从命/无能为力/好意心领

 Sorry but I have to say no / There is nothing I can do / Thank you for your kindness but

表示拒绝，语气恳切，语体正式。

With a sincere tone, those are formal expressions for refusal.

例 | Eg.

①非常抱歉，这件事情我实在是无能为力。

I’m terribly sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it.

②好意心领了，礼物我就不收了。

Thank you for your kindness, but I cannot accept the gift.

③这样做违背原则，恕难从命。

That is against the rules. I’m sorry but I have to refuse. 

熟语

Idioms

通过引用熟语来委婉地拒绝他人，目的是使氛围变得轻松。

Sometimes, idioms are used to express refusal and ease the probable tension.

例 | Eg.

①

A：我快吃土了，你能借我点儿钱吗？

B：嗨，我也是泥菩萨过河——自身难保啊！

A: I’m destitute. Could you lend me some money?

B: Sorry, but I myself can barely keep the wolf at bay.

②　

A：我觉得红色不好看，你要不试试蓝色那件吧？

B：萝卜白菜各有所爱，我觉得红色挺好看的！

A: I don’t think red is your color. Maybe you should try the blue one.

B: Well, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. I love red.

网络用语

 Netspeak 

“达咩/大漏特漏/婉拒了哈/臣妾做不到啊”等网络流行用语，一些年轻人喜欢在社交软件上使用。“达咩”是日语“だめ”的音译；“大漏特漏”是将中文与英文no的谐音“漏”相结合的表达；“婉拒了哈”源自某网络热梗；“臣妾做不到啊”为电视剧《甄嬛传》经典台词。

达咩(dá miē)/大漏特漏(dà lòu tè lòu)/ 婉拒了哈(wǎn jù le hā) /臣妾做不到啊(chén qiè zuò bú dào ā)… Expressions with distinct netspeak features are used by young people in the cyberspace or social apps. “达咩(no)” is a transliteration of the Japanese phrase だめ; “大漏特漏(By all means no)” is a kind of hybrid of Chinese and English, since “漏” is a transliteration of English word “no”; “婉拒了哈(Request turned down)” stems from a popular punchline; “臣妾做不到啊(No can do)” is a line from the TV series Empresses in the Palace.

例 | Eg.

表情包

 Memes 

在网络社交平台，中国人喜欢使用表情包来表达拒绝，且不同年龄层使用的表情包风格不一。

On social networks, memes are also used by the Chinese people to express refusal, and the style of them tend to vary from one age group to another.

例 | Eg.

上面的内容你学会了吗？一起来做几个练习吧～

How do you like the above expressions? Let’s take a little quiz to find out.

01

A classmate asked you “How about watching a movie together this weekend?” However, you’re otherwise engaged. What would you say to turn him/her down?

A.我也是泥菩萨过河，自身难保啊！

B.我挺想去的，但是已经有别的安排了。

C.臣妾做不到啊。

（点击选项查看答案）

02

A classmate made some questionnaires and asked you to distribute them for him. However, you’re busy. What should you say to refuse?

A.抱歉，恕难从命。

B.我很想帮你，但我最近事情很多，实在没时间。

C.婉拒了哈。

（点击选项查看答案）

03

A classmate asked you to do his/her part of the team assignment. You refused him/her outright. Which one of the following is NOT a soft refusal?

A.可能不行，你那个部分的工作我没有经验。

B.不行，你自己的工作凭什么让我做？

C.不是我不想帮你，实在是最近太忙没有时间。

（点击选项查看答案）

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